‘God! I’m sick of this relationship! I just cannot handle it anymore!’
‘Enough of these love games!’
These are the statement that you tend to make when you cannot handle your love relationship with an addict.
When you love an alcoholic or a drug addict, you go through a lot of uncertainty and pain. Your life includes both highs and lows in the extreme level.
It is really tough to take on such a relationship for years. At some point of time, you do feel tired. And, that’s quite natural.
At one hand you are constantly coping up with the odds of your partner. You are trying to make yourself understand that things will be fine.
But how long can this go on?
At the end of the day, it is not love that you are craving for. What you are doing for your loved one is compromise!
You are COMPROMISING yourself.
You get caught up in dramatic scenes. You become obsessed with trying to control certain situations. You spend a lot of time, money and your energy to bring you man to the straight track.
The output is void.
And you know what the worst part is?
However much you try, the drug addict himself does not want to come out of his addiction. He barely notices your efforts behind him. The addict whom is love is making you mad!
How long can you pursue and tolerate this!
One fine day appears when you scream at the top of your voice and look for a road to freedom.
If you look at the other end of the tunnel, there is always light.
And, if you find darkness, light a candle at the extreme end of the tunnel.
Did you get it? No?
I am speaking of detachment!
Need to learn how do you detach with love.
By detachment I did not mean that you stop loving the person completely. Detachment here means that you take a back step and stop putting all efforts.
Let’s be a bit selfish.
At the end of the day we are all humans.
When you notice that all your time, effort and energy is going in vain several times, will you at all want to put up with the same energy again?
What I’m trying to say is …
…. Do not let anyone else’s drama make a place in your life.
Why would you want to destroy your life for somebody else? That too, for someone who is just not bothered about you!
Okay, so detachment is a slow process. You need to be very careful.
If the other person, meaning the addict senses that you are trying to quit from his life, he will immediately catch hold of you. And, you will be the one trapped inside this mesh.
Allow the addict to take their decisions themselves.
In short, you stop being the backup support that you always were till date.
On the other hand, you keep on loving him.
Accept the fact that changing or controlling him is next to impossible. And that’s perfectly alright!
The people whom you love have the responsibility of their own lives. You do not need to take any more heavy steps on their behalf.
And, if you think that you are being unable to cope with this relationship, come out of it silently.